Now that you understand what love means, this new post should make more sense.
In real life though, it’s exactly like Lara Jean puts it, love and dating is beautiful to look at, read about and think of but outside of that, naah! I still cannot pin a specific reason to this behavior.
Sometimes I think it is fear. Fear that I will invest so much of myself in something that will not be worth it. I cannot shake off the feeling that when I eventually fall or rise in love, I will do so with everything in me and if I am being completely honest, I am not ready to give all of that.
Other than fear, I actually think love is really silly. Listen to me first. Why does someone have so much control over how you feel? You can be mad all day because they didn’t text back and become happy all of a sudden because of a text from the person. Why do you sometimes feel a strong urge to constantly or consistently talk to or be around someone? What is that, that makes you shut off the whole world? I don’t get it. Let’s not even get to the more physical things like laughing by yourself or doing things like picking leaves randomly because of a phone conversation. Oh, and how you can get blindsided by love? Red flags cease to be red and anyone who tells you things you don’t want to hear is suddenly against.
Sometimes I think I am too gangsta for that sh*t! (That’s literally how I say it in my head.) For some reason I just can’t get myself to do certain things like have the ‘you hang up’ conversation! I will hang up if the conversation is over and I need to. If I do it, I feel as though I am betraying myself. It feels really weird and so most times I opt for avoiding such situations.
I love stability. I love being able to verify things. To know for sure what is what and how to go about it. I love things I can explain to myself at the very least. I am a planner, it helps me feel more in control. I don’t feel as though love gives you a lot of that. I dislike that everything depends on how you feel at a particular moment. That sometimes you think its love and then later you don’t think at all. There is no verifying with love or rather the most you can do is take someone’s word for it. Or study their actions and all that but given how people put up shows, I don’t even think it is safe to count on that. People say that when it’s right you’ll know! Well, I have trouble telling which avocado is good despite my immense love for them! I don’t know how I would do with people!
This post should not fool you though. I still really love love!! And I think it is beautiful when it works.
That’s it from me this week. Remember to like, share, comment and subscribe to my blog if you haven’t already. Also, follow me on Instagram and Twitter and Pinterest if you want to be more than a reader!! See you soon.
//Till next time✌🏽//
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