Have you ever overheard somebody talk about you and you clearly weren't supposed to hear it? I have. Most times, it had something to do with what I was wearing and how that made my body look.
I am not the most curved woman on this earth, far from it! Nonetheless, I still get very cautious when it comes to my body. Sometimes the cautiousness surfaces as very innocent thoughts and deeds. The other day, for example, I wanted to wear a black body con dress but when I was putting the outfit together I thought it would be better if I had long braids on or like a backpack. If I'm being honest, it was not because that was the right style choice. The truth is that I just wanted to cover my back and I knew the braids would do that and so would the bag.
I happen to love high waist everything. From trousers to shorts and skirts. Something about high waists makes a person's body look different. It makes more sense to wear a high waist with something crop or that allows the high waist feature to be seen. Sadly, I find myself more often than not wearing this combination then looking for a cover-up.
When I ask myself why I do all these, several things come up. I was once walking home in a fitting dress with nothing but a sling bag and my natural hair, so nothing to cover my back. I passed these men that started talking about my body in a very sexual way. I think I stopped for like 2 seconds and exhaled in disbelief then continued with my walk. That was not as bad as some boys that were walking behind me and my friends in school! They, amongst each other, talked of what they'd do to each of us. I remember one said I looked like I could be bent to a million positions and that was very uncomfortable and disturbing to listen to. When I combine these random things I have heard people say and then the other ones that have tried to touch me or parts of my body, it makes sense to want to cover up, right?
I don't think so. I like my body. No! I love my body. Every part of it and when I find myself covering up not because I want to but because somebody will say, do or feel some type of way because of my body, I don't feel as though that is love.
While trying to do away with this feeling, I have learnt a few things. One, I am not responsible for what I evoke in others. I think people should learn to have self-control and be mindful of the things they say about other people. Two, there are things that are beyond me, like who feels attracted to me or any part of me and I cannot be a prisoner of that. I cannot constantly do things trying to not attract or be invisible. Lastly, I owe myself my comfort. There are times that I want to have a cover-up and that is ok but when I am doing it because of the fear of what somebody would say or do, I am not being fair to myself or my body!
So on this particular day, I wore my body con with my hair held in a ponytail and my bag that goes to the front with absolutely nothing to cover up the beauty that is my body. If I'm being honest, I felt pretty, got a couple of compliments and strangers that stared but above all, I was comfortable and not thinking about anybody. It felt really good.
So you know what, I am going to ignore people's thoughts, opinions and would be actions and not let them hold me back. I think you should do the same in whatever area you find yourself caring about another's opinion. Try that style you always pin or screenshot, try that new hair colour, let your locs down, go to that new place, and try something new. Just do it. Everybody else will sort themselves out!!
That’s it from me this week.
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//Till next time✌🏽//
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