Can we talk homosexuality?

I don’t know what you think or feel about homosexuality but I’ll share my thoughts with you. I think more often than not, it is a decision a person makes. It may start as an urge or interest that you decide to or not to pursue or develop. Now before you judge me, listen to my thoughts.

You see, for every decision that we make, there are factors that contribute to it being so. Some of these factors are things we bring upon ourselves while others maybe a little out of our control. I’ll tell you a few of what I think makes people turn out how they are from my point of view as a female.

Some people want to believe that homosexuality is genetic. No study has been able to fully show the relation yet, but several researchers have come up with points to support the belief. An example is the supposed existence of a cluster of DNA found to predict male-pattern baldness on certain chromosomes. This however largely remains unclear. Hormonal imbalance also plays a role in making certain females feel like males trapped in their female bodies and vice versa. Hence, they may tend to explore their sexuality based on that.

Parents indirectly contribute to all these. When parents get too strict with their children in the name of protecting them, it may work against them. Imagine a girl who grew up with a parent that constantly forbade them from having any sort of relationship with boys. In most cases, it comes like this ‘nikuone na vijana!’ The phrase is even more emphasized as she grows up, as her body is developing and her curiosity increasing. What do you think is most likely to happen to her? She will start having feelings for her fellow girl that she should for the opposite gender. She will look at her as she should a boy. For the parents, it never crosses their minds that what they are preventing from happening with a boy could also happen with a girl.

It is natural for parents to want the best for their children, but how you work towards that is very important.

Let’s talk about misinterpreted feelings. I feel like a good number of homosexuals are people who don’t understand exactly what they feel but feel it strongly. It could be gratitude towards a friend for remaining true, appreciation or even value.

Let me talk about myself a little. I love drawing, fashion and design. Interest in that comes with interest in the human body. I have for the longest time done designs for females. As a result, you are more likely to find me studying the different shapes of the female body compared to the male one. I’ll notice the different positioning of a woman’s hips or the shape of their bum more naturally than I would the features of the male body. If I didn’t understand this relation I’d probably mistake it for attraction to women and end up confused about my sexuality. Just because as a boy you relate more naturally with boys, it does not mean you are gay. You are probably just shy or not very social. The same applies to girls. You may have a bias to male clothes and other things regarded manly but not be lesbian!

Peer pressure is almost a contributor to everything. The desire to feel accepted or like you belong pushes people to extremes. They are willing to do anything for attention. This I think is the main reason for homosexuality in high schools. For some people, the behaviour sticks even after high school that it becomes part of who they are.

I care about my religion and how I live my life in relation to God’s expectations of me. The Bible refers to all these as unnatural and ungodly, so basically sin. Do you know what else the Bible says? We are all children of God and He loves us. There is no big or small sin. All sin is sin, whether you call it cheating, stealing, adultery, blasphemy or judging others. We are all sinning in our different ways! The thing with sexual sin is that it is not sinning against the body. It is more of defiling the spirit.

Did I lose you somewhere? This is what I am saying. Don’t make anyone feel bad about themselves, I mean, we don’t all believe in the same things. The Bible, in Romans 2, talks a lot about judgment. One of the insights that stand out for me is that those who know the Law, in this case, the Law of God, will be judged by the Law while those who do not know the Law will be judged by their consciences as an indication that the Law is written in their hearts. The most you can do as a Christian is to pray for God's intervention and teach the Laws of God then let everyone decide how they live by themselves. Even as we are preaching change, no one will change if they don’t have a reason to. I feel like it is part of self-discovery for some people and until they know who they are, you can’t change anything.

The truth is that maybe there are people who are actually gay or lesbian and that’s just it. People who even after the self-discovery have remained the same and trying to live otherwise is an injustice to themselves. The best we can do is respect how people decide to live their lives. Interact with them with a view of understanding their way of life. Maybe then you can be able to help them know who they are if need be.

As an individual, take the time to know yourself. To understand who you are, what you do and why you do it. Take time to observe the things that matter to you, those that attract you and those that make you happy or otherwise. When you master yourself, everything else becomes much clearer.

That’s it from me this week.

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//Till next time✌🏽//